Older Adults & Grief

You might expect that grief affects everyone—children, adults, and older adults—in the same way. But just as children often struggle because they have little experience with loss, grieving can be especially challenging for older adults as well. Many have lived through multiple losses over the years, and each new loss—especially the death of a beloved pet—can add another “layer” of pain. These combined experiences can make grief feel heavier, more complicated, and harder to work through. Because of their age and life circumstances, older adults may:

Experience several losses close together.
It’s common for older adults to lose friends, relatives, or longtime companions within a short period of time. The death of a pet added to other recent losses may cause them to grieve several things at once or feel emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted, or unable to express what they’re feeling.

Not recognize that they’re grieving.
Older adults also face many transitions: changing roles within the family, declining physical strength, or reduced independence. These changes can create sadness or frustration that feels like “something else,” making it hard for them to recognize that grief is part of what they’re carrying.

Hesitate to talk about their feelings.
Some older adults may be reluctant to tell others how deeply the loss of a pet has affected them, especially if they believe they should be “used to loss” by now or worry others won’t take their grief seriously.

Lack the support system they once had.
If a spouse, partner, or close friend has died—or if family members live far away—older adults may not have anyone nearby who understands how important their pet was to them. This can lead to loneliness or the feeling that they have no one to confide in.

Allowing extra time.

Older adults often need more time to recognize their emotions and express what they’re feeling—especially after the loss of a pet. They may also need additional time to complete everyday tasks. Offering them patience shows respect, understanding, and genuine care.

Gently noting signs of sadness or changes in behavior.

Sometimes pointing out what you’ve noticed—such as withdrawal, quietness, or a shift in routine—can help an older adult become aware of what they’re feeling. This may also make it easier for them to open up.

Being present.

An older adult who spends a lot of time alone can benefit from simple companionship. Invite them for a walk, share a cup of coffee, or just sit together. Loneliness can linger for a long time after losing a beloved pet, especially if the person has also lost a spouse or other close relationships.

Encouraging conversation about the loss.

Invite them to talk about their pet and the memories they treasure. Older adults who have experienced several losses close together often find comfort in sharing stories and reflecting on the bond they had.

Watching for signs of extended grief or depression.

If you feel an older adult is struggling to move through their grief or seems unusually withdrawn, it may be helpful to reach out to a healthcare or mental-health professional for guidance.

Taking each loss one at a time.

Many older adults are coping with more than one loss simultaneously. Encouraging them to talk about each loss separately can reduce overwhelm and help them process their feelings more clearly.